Friendship is Fleeting, Love is Not
by Gigabomb
Summary: Krillin contemplates why he and Goku grew apart, and the people that came between them. NOT a KrillinGoku, though there are hints of slash. Same continuity as An Alternate Afterlife.


Author's Note: I wrote this as I went. Really, tonight I just thought, "What does Krillin think of all this?" so I sat down and wrote it two minutes later. Anyone can read the first nine-hundred words or so and not get confused, but you have to know a bit about my running series to get the rest of it.

Sometimes I wonder when I stopped being Goku's best friend. It kind of makes me sad, a little, when I look back over the years and realize that beyond our initial months training together with Master Roshi, Goku and I never spent that much time together. It didn't seem like it at the time. Maybe it's because, when Goku's around, he just seems to fill up everything, make it glow, and what you did when he wasn't there doesn't seem so important.

I've never really been in Goku's league. At the beginning, I was only a few steps behind him. He could run just a little faster. He could push that rock just a little further. But that little was always there.

As time when on, the number of steps increased. By the second World Martial Arts Tournament we participated in, he was on a completely different level than me. I would have been lucky to get more than one hit in. By the time his brother showed up, I couldn't have touched him had the world depended on it. When Goku came back to Earth, almost two years after Namek blew up, sparring with him would have been worse than a joke. We hadn't had a real bout in over five years.

I suppose I didn't blame him for moving on, for marrying Chi-chi and having a son. I would have done the same, had the opportunity come up. But when Goku moved beyond our childhood friendship, he also went on to stronger and more skillful opponents. Piccolo was first.

I suppose it can be argued that it was in fact Tien who first usurped my spot, but no matter how much they respected each other, they never really got that close. Rivals, sure, but never sparring partners, never buddies. And Piccolo had a connection to Goku long before they became anything resembling friends. First through his own father, and then through Goku's son, Gohan.

During the three years we waited for the androids to show up and kill everyone, Goku trained with Piccolo. Yamcha says that Goku was in reality training with Gohan and Piccolo just came with the package, but Goku didn't train WITH Gohan. He just trained him, period. Gohan was his student. Piccolo was his partner.

However, Piccolo never really thought much about Goku, in of as himself. As far as Piccolo was concerned, Goku had two roles; savior of Earth, and Gohan's father. You know how people always talk about how they wish people would like them for themselves? Piccolo had that love for Gohan; he didn't have it for Goku. Goku was just the guy who happened to be the most powerful force on the planet, and his protégé's father to boot.

Next was Vegeta. Here, the reason was obvious. Vegeta was Goku's rival. He was the prince of their home planet, and it really pissed him off to come to the backend of no where and find a guy who would have been a peasant on their home world, but was more powerful than he was. Vegeta worked constantly to surpass Goku, and Goku certainly enjoyed sparring with him, but. . . they didn't really like each other. The respect was there, but they only fought sporadically, and I got the feeling their relationship was rather one-sided. Vegeta thought way more about Goku than Goku ever thought about him. To Goku, Vegeta was interesting on the basis of two things; his level of power and the fact he was the last remaining member of Goku's race besides Goku himself. To Vegeta, Goku was the epitome of everything that was wrong in his universe.

I never really felt threatened by Piccolo or Vegeta. Okay, maybe a little by Piccolo, as Goku certainly seemed to enjoy talking to the guy, but I always knew that Piccolo's heart always lay with the son, not the father. But throughout all this, through King Piccolo and Frieza and the androids, I was the one Goku talked to, I was the one Goku relaxed with and invited over for dinner, I was the one who Chi-chi called when Goku would disappear for hours only to show up soaking wet with a ton of fish in his arms. I was that guy. I may not have been his sparring partner, his rival, but I was his best friend. And that was enough. But what I didn't realize was that, for Goku, you couldn't have one without the other. Not really.

Even then, I think I knew, a little. I noticed there were things that Goku would only reveal to whoever he regarded as his equal (or the closest equivalent) on the battlefield. Like he thought the rest of us couldn't handle it or something, like a lesser power level would make us less equipped to handle it on an emotional level. Though I doubt Goku thought about it that deeply. His line of reasoning was probably something like, "Only the people with enough power to do something about the threat really need to know about it." He probably didn't think us emotionally weak, just. . . weak. Which is, if you analyze it enough, even worse. So I don't, most of the time.

Of course, the human fighters didn't show much in the way of mettle during the android threat anyway (barring Tien, who I heard did help at one point, though I didn't see it), so I guess I shouldn't be complaining about not being told stuff, what with me ruining our chances to stop Cell from becoming perfect and both me AND Yamcha wimping out at periodic intervals when it came to actually fighting the androids.

Those three and a half years Goku was dead, life moved on, as hard as it was to believe sometimes. Chi-chi had another kid, Goten, Goku's second son. Gohan grew up, became a teenager, and learned the art of brooding. Vegeta and Bulma, beyond all reasoning, actually stayed together, though they argued constantly. Tien and Chao-tzu seemingly disappeared off the face of the planet. So did Piccolo, though I think Gohan met up with him at least once a week. Yamcha got beyond Bulma (sort of) and dated other people, though no relationship lasted beyond a month. And me? Though I had kind of lost hope, I actually got the dream girl I had fantasized about for years. She was blonde, beautiful, could kick my ass with both hands tied behind her back, and had a caustic tongue that cut more sharply than a razor. I really had no idea at the time why she'd chosen me, of all people, but I asked her later and she said she preferred sensitive guys, even if they were weak and bald. I'm still not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

Then things got weird. Gohan killed himself. A week later, Goku shows up with a white-haired guy no one recognizes, wishes Gohan back to life, they teleport Gohan off the planet, some big battle commences that no one sees, the three of them come back, and apparently the universe is saved (again), though no one knew anything had been wrong to begin with.

Several big shockers were then unleashed by Goku. Apparently it hadn't been a week since Gohan had died, at least to him and the white-haired guy, but several months, because they had ended up in the future and a lot of weird crap had happened, like Gohan becoming evil and Goten dating Frieza's brother (which was so nuts it had to be true. I mean, who could possibly come up with this stuff?)

The biggest revelation, though, was finding out the white-haired guy was actually Cell, who Goku had become friends with up in heaven. I still wonder how Goku does that, make friends out of enemies. Kind of disturbing, sometimes, to walk into a room and see someone who tried to kill you (or actually did) reading the paper, or eating, or contemplating the meaning of life (that or watching the paint crack. All I know is that Cell stared at a wall for three hours, then immediately visited Bulma's lab and fixed her pulse generator.)

Anyway, Chi-chi in the time Goku was gone fell out of love with him and in love with someone else. Goku was accepting of this. Too accepting. I thought at the time that he was in shock or something, but now I wonder if it's because his heart had also moved on.

Life rearranged itself. Chi-chi married her new beau, Goku and Cell ended up living together, and Goten, for some reason, went with them, perhaps because he refused to let go of Cell's hair.

Years passed. I had a daughter, Marron, who was as cute as anything. Gohan started public school, and girls started stalking him. A year later, he quit and went to live on Kami's lookout with Piccolo, which threw his mother into hysterics for about a week before Gohan had a talk with her. He now does schoolwork by mail, and is halfway through college, majoring in the sciences.

Goten and Trunks went from cute little toddlers to the kids from hell, though I'm positive most of the evil stems from Trunks. Either way, both of them got to super-saiyan before they hit puberty, so when they get punished, it isn't by me.

Goku and Cell continued to live together. I knew they were friends, of course, but I think I didn't realize how close they were until Bulma set Cell up on a date and Seventeen installed cameras in their house.

It's a weird experience to see someone you've known for years and thought to be straight kissing a guy. I think I would have taken it better, wouldn't have been so surprised, if Cell had initialized the kiss, but Goku, of all people, was definitely the one who leaned in first. Goku had never done that with me, or Piccolo, or Vegeta. But then again, we have never made him pancakes, we have never taken care of his son like our own (except Piccolo, but I doubt his interest in Gohan is as platonic as the two of them present it to Chi-chi), we cannot and never will be able to get up every morning, fight Goku at his most powerful, and walk away with nothing worse than a bloody lip. Goku has met his equal. More than that, he has met someone who will always match him, someone who he can live with and laugh with and drag to parties without getting his head blown off. Someone he can talk with about everything. Someone he can love, in the way he was meant to.

Sometimes I speculate that Vegeta might be unsatisfied with his relationship with Bulma on some level, when he cannot fight with her physically at the times they really go at it. But then I see them, together, and I realize I'm probably wrong. For all of Vegeta's pride, I think he is less of a saiyan than Goku, who can only truly love when he is fighting. And Cell is willing to spar with him forever.

I don't think I'll ever really know when I stopped being Goku's best friend. I just know when I realized it.

I wonder if Cell notices the way Goku lights up a room.


End file.
